Hi All
I Know, its been forever since I last updated my Blog Spot - much to my families disgust :) Too much has been happening ...... But none of the bad stuff for now, just the good :)
Sometimes, as a single parent, you often wonder what kind of a parent you are ... are you any good, or are you a terrible parent, did you make the right decision, or not, did you discipline correctly, or where you a bit harsh ....... There isnt enough time to do all the things that probably would happen naturally in a 'normal' home ... eg : I havent had a chance to teach Natalia to ride her bike without the training wheels ...... or to swim properly .... etc etc. I suppose, in a two parent home, you have your husband to bounce things off ..... and his opinion to rest on / count on / consider. Well, family and friends, it is not so in the single parent home. Yes, we can ask someone, but their opinion will be based on what they hear or see and their own experiences .... So I suppose its not the best judge / measuring tool. Im blabbing here .... but you get my drift
Anyway, we were blessed enough to be taken away with friends of ours this weekend. The kids had an absolute ball - there was an indoor warm swimming pool ... I put myself 'out' and actually climbed in the pool with Natalia (mandatory swimming cap on and all - very glamerous) expecting just to play .... well, she was so excited ..... and begged " Oh mommy, now YOU can teach me to swim !" ... (guilt gremlin raises his head) ... and im thinking "yeah, sure baby, like you ever listen to me" .... haha ... Well, I gave her one simple instruction, one I didnt think she would do ... I said "baby, if you want to stay on top of the water, you have to put your face in the water and kick like crazy" ..... Guess what .... A SWIMMER !!! I HAVE A SWIMMER !!!! She was swimming like a little fish the entire time we were there ... She was so proud of herself, and I was so proud of her and more so, I was proud of me :) I taught her ... I taught her to swim !!! WOO HOO ..... All of a sudden, I didnt need anyone's approval or advice .. I had done it and it was very empowering !! Now, I need to dedicate some time to teaching her to ride her bike - when the weather gets better and I actually get her a bike I suppose :)
I will make a concerted effort to update again later this week !!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Contentment .....
A man was walking along the the beach one day, and happened apon fisherman contently lying in his hammock with his rod in the sand, watching his children play.
"What are you doing ?" Asked the stranger,
"Just lying here in my hammock, watching my children play in the sand" said the fisherman
"And what do you do for living that you are here in the middle of the week fishing and playing with your children" ? Asked the stranger
"Well", said the fisherman, "I go out in my little boat once a day, catch one or two fish to feed my family and that's how I live" said the fisherman
"But why dont you work a little harder, catch more fish, sell more fish, have a bigger income, you know, make a business out of your fishing" said the stranger
"Sounds good", said the fisherman, " but what is the end result of this business ... what is it that I hope to achieve with it ?" asked the fisherman .
"Well" Said the stranger, "so that one day you can sit in a hammock on the beach and watch your children play in the sand !"
Aha ....
Perhaps we should all find the contentment with what we have, instead of robbing yourself of precious moments with those you love .....
Monday, April 6, 2009
Strong Woman - Weak Man
Hmmm, I found this article and just really wanted to share it, because it has become the reality of my world ........ Lisa. I'm going to file this one under the ASHES .... Now I just need to trade it :)
The all-too-normal South African woman lives in a world of boys—men with a pathological immaturity that has emasculated them and shriveled them into moral and spiritual wimps. The home of the average South African woman is unmanned.
My Dilemma
The problem for Christian women is that in many cases their scenarios are no different than those of their unbelieving sisters. The men in their lives are also weak, and often these women also find themselves in the position of being stronger than their male counterparts—spiritually, socially, economically, intellectually, and morally. The Christian woman in this situation faces a conundrum that is not resolved by the woman-empowerment agenda of the feminists. Masculine weakness is not an option that is acceptable to her, but unless she is strong, she will not survive.
She also realizes that in the church of Jesus Christ, God has called her to follow male leadership. And if married she must submit and respect male headship in the home. Compounding her difficulty is the reality that she may have grown up in a Christian culture that frowns upon women taking advanced degrees, working outside the home, or studying any field besides the approved “female occupations” tradition permits for her sex. While society preaches a message of empowerment, she is confused and wonders if the message for her is “Be weak.”
She rejects the feminists’ rebellion against biblical authority and embraces the Christian woman’s role of submission, wifehood, and motherhood. She is willing to respect the men in her life, only she silently cries out for a respectable man. Little by little the average Christian woman is coming to the conclusion that the men in her life are, in the main, boys in grownup bodies. And boys cannot be trusted with grownup matters.
The Contribution of Feminism
This reluctance to grow up is epidemic in the West, but more importantly to our focus in these articles it is essential to realize that this delayed maturity is endemic to societies that have bowed the knee to radical feminism. And, ironically, it is women—feminists—who are most disgruntled with the product of their philosophy. Women who sought so long to be freed from men are now finding that there are no men from whom to be liberated!
Domesticity may have always been a feminine realm, but marriage and children were once defined as integral to the traditional gender roles of both men and women. Today it’s the woman who is cast in the role of caveman, eager to club some unsuspecting, reluctant male on his head and drag him to the altar.
About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearby—mothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers. My friend and I, who, in fits of self-empowerment, had conceived our babies with donor sperm because we hadn’t met Mr. Right yet, surveyed the idyllic scene.
“Ah, this is the dream,” I said, and we nodded in silence for a minute, then burst out laughing. In some ways, I meant it: we’d both dreamed of motherhood, and here we were, picnicking in the park with our children. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).
To the outside world, of course, we still call ourselves feminists and insist—vehemently, even—that we’re independent and self-sufficient and don’t believe in any of that damsel-in-distress stuff, but in reality, we aren’t fish who can do without a bicycle, we’re women who want a traditional family.
And there’s more:
Before I got pregnant, though, I also read single-mom books such as Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman’s Guide, whose chapter titles “Can I Afford It?” and “Dealing With the Stress” seemed like realistic antidotes to the faux-empowering man-hunting manual headings like “A Little Lingerie Can Go a Long Way.” But the book’s author, Mikki Morrissette, held out a tantalizing carrot. In her introduction, she describes having a daughter on her own; then, she writes, a few years later and five months pregnant with her son, “I met a guy I fell in love with. He and my daughter were in the delivery room when my son was born in January 2004.” Each time I read about single women having babies on their own and thriving instead of settling for Mr. Wrong and hiring a divorce lawyer, I felt all jazzed and ready to go. At the time, I truly believed, “I can have it all—a baby now, my soul mate later!”
Well . . . ha! Hahahaha. And ha.
Just as the relationship books fail to mention what happens after you triumphantly land a husband (you actually have to live with each other), these single-mom books fail to mention that once you have a baby alone, not only do you age about 10 years in the first 10 months, but if you don’t have time to shower, eat, urinate in a timely manner, or even leave the house except for work, where you spend every waking moment that your child is at day care, there’s very little chance that a man—much less The One—is going to knock on your door and join that party. So what is a Christian woman—a strong woman—supposed to do in this culture of weak men? Our concerns are not merely sociological, but spiritual. Our warfare is not merely cultural, but cosmic. Our battles are not merely culturally consequential, but Christologically consequential. The gospel of Jesus Christ is radically affected if women get it wrong and usurp roles God did not grant to them. The gospel is also radically affected if they are not strong.
The all-too-normal South African woman lives in a world of boys—men with a pathological immaturity that has emasculated them and shriveled them into moral and spiritual wimps. The home of the average South African woman is unmanned.
My Dilemma
The problem for Christian women is that in many cases their scenarios are no different than those of their unbelieving sisters. The men in their lives are also weak, and often these women also find themselves in the position of being stronger than their male counterparts—spiritually, socially, economically, intellectually, and morally. The Christian woman in this situation faces a conundrum that is not resolved by the woman-empowerment agenda of the feminists. Masculine weakness is not an option that is acceptable to her, but unless she is strong, she will not survive.
She also realizes that in the church of Jesus Christ, God has called her to follow male leadership. And if married she must submit and respect male headship in the home. Compounding her difficulty is the reality that she may have grown up in a Christian culture that frowns upon women taking advanced degrees, working outside the home, or studying any field besides the approved “female occupations” tradition permits for her sex. While society preaches a message of empowerment, she is confused and wonders if the message for her is “Be weak.”
She rejects the feminists’ rebellion against biblical authority and embraces the Christian woman’s role of submission, wifehood, and motherhood. She is willing to respect the men in her life, only she silently cries out for a respectable man. Little by little the average Christian woman is coming to the conclusion that the men in her life are, in the main, boys in grownup bodies. And boys cannot be trusted with grownup matters.
The Contribution of Feminism
This reluctance to grow up is epidemic in the West, but more importantly to our focus in these articles it is essential to realize that this delayed maturity is endemic to societies that have bowed the knee to radical feminism. And, ironically, it is women—feminists—who are most disgruntled with the product of their philosophy. Women who sought so long to be freed from men are now finding that there are no men from whom to be liberated!
Domesticity may have always been a feminine realm, but marriage and children were once defined as integral to the traditional gender roles of both men and women. Today it’s the woman who is cast in the role of caveman, eager to club some unsuspecting, reluctant male on his head and drag him to the altar.
About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearby—mothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers. My friend and I, who, in fits of self-empowerment, had conceived our babies with donor sperm because we hadn’t met Mr. Right yet, surveyed the idyllic scene.
“Ah, this is the dream,” I said, and we nodded in silence for a minute, then burst out laughing. In some ways, I meant it: we’d both dreamed of motherhood, and here we were, picnicking in the park with our children. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).
To the outside world, of course, we still call ourselves feminists and insist—vehemently, even—that we’re independent and self-sufficient and don’t believe in any of that damsel-in-distress stuff, but in reality, we aren’t fish who can do without a bicycle, we’re women who want a traditional family.
And there’s more:
Before I got pregnant, though, I also read single-mom books such as Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman’s Guide, whose chapter titles “Can I Afford It?” and “Dealing With the Stress” seemed like realistic antidotes to the faux-empowering man-hunting manual headings like “A Little Lingerie Can Go a Long Way.” But the book’s author, Mikki Morrissette, held out a tantalizing carrot. In her introduction, she describes having a daughter on her own; then, she writes, a few years later and five months pregnant with her son, “I met a guy I fell in love with. He and my daughter were in the delivery room when my son was born in January 2004.” Each time I read about single women having babies on their own and thriving instead of settling for Mr. Wrong and hiring a divorce lawyer, I felt all jazzed and ready to go. At the time, I truly believed, “I can have it all—a baby now, my soul mate later!”
Well . . . ha! Hahahaha. And ha.
Just as the relationship books fail to mention what happens after you triumphantly land a husband (you actually have to live with each other), these single-mom books fail to mention that once you have a baby alone, not only do you age about 10 years in the first 10 months, but if you don’t have time to shower, eat, urinate in a timely manner, or even leave the house except for work, where you spend every waking moment that your child is at day care, there’s very little chance that a man—much less The One—is going to knock on your door and join that party. So what is a Christian woman—a strong woman—supposed to do in this culture of weak men? Our concerns are not merely sociological, but spiritual. Our warfare is not merely cultural, but cosmic. Our battles are not merely culturally consequential, but Christologically consequential. The gospel of Jesus Christ is radically affected if women get it wrong and usurp roles God did not grant to them. The gospel is also radically affected if they are not strong.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Finally ....
After much persuasive influence from my family, I have decided to join the blogging world. Sad as it is to say, this way, we can all keep in touch with what is happening in each others lives ... what happened to phoning ? :)
I just thought I would fill you in our our weekend plans to start off with, before we get onto the serious stuff ...
Today, I have the aweful task of having to spent time in the office ! What a waste of a good Saturday ! Natalia has her dad visiting at the moment, so she is in 7th heaven squeezing him for every "hide and seek" game she can ! Shame, the poor man, he looked at me yesterday after having her for the afternoon and said "Ive just spent 4 hours playing Hide and Seek !" ... Welcome to my world :)
So, she's spending the day with him and new Fiance who is absolutely WONDERFUL ! Natalia adores her and I am SO blessed to have such a kind, sensitive and willing Step-Mother-To-Be for her !
This afternoon, a friend of mine who is a Rally Car Driver is having a race and will be finishing the race close to home, so me and a friend will take the kids down to watch the end of the race ... im sure they'll enjoy that immensely, as will I :)
Tomorrow is yet to be decided. Im hoping to go through to Hermanus this evening and come back tomorrow, but we'll see ......
Here is a picture of my little earth angel, Natalia ! She started Pre School this year and is loving it. With yesterday being the last day of school, she came home with 4 books that I had to read through - shoo !!! But it appears she is doing well. Her teacher's note to me says that she is "very quiet, obedient and a good listener" (I wonder if they have the right kid ! :) )
I just thought I would fill you in our our weekend plans to start off with, before we get onto the serious stuff ...
Today, I have the aweful task of having to spent time in the office ! What a waste of a good Saturday ! Natalia has her dad visiting at the moment, so she is in 7th heaven squeezing him for every "hide and seek" game she can ! Shame, the poor man, he looked at me yesterday after having her for the afternoon and said "Ive just spent 4 hours playing Hide and Seek !" ... Welcome to my world :)
So, she's spending the day with him and new Fiance who is absolutely WONDERFUL ! Natalia adores her and I am SO blessed to have such a kind, sensitive and willing Step-Mother-To-Be for her !
This afternoon, a friend of mine who is a Rally Car Driver is having a race and will be finishing the race close to home, so me and a friend will take the kids down to watch the end of the race ... im sure they'll enjoy that immensely, as will I :)
Tomorrow is yet to be decided. Im hoping to go through to Hermanus this evening and come back tomorrow, but we'll see ......
Here is a picture of my little earth angel, Natalia ! She started Pre School this year and is loving it. With yesterday being the last day of school, she came home with 4 books that I had to read through - shoo !!! But it appears she is doing well. Her teacher's note to me says that she is "very quiet, obedient and a good listener" (I wonder if they have the right kid ! :) )
Have a good weekend all ...
Lisa & Natalia
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